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Almost everyone has had moments where they feel underwhelming and like an imposter in their their own life. This can be due to a lack of self-confidence in yourself and your abilities. Confidence is an important skill to have, but it does take work in order to maintain. By being confident you will be more likely to take risks, therefore there is a higher chance of these risks working out. For example, if you have a crush on someone and ask them on a date there is a chance that they will say yes. If you let fear be in control of your actions and decide not to ask them on the date, the answer will always be no. Being confident is also important if you are looking to be in a position of power or leadership.

So, how can you build your self-confidence?

The steps to becoming more confident can be intimidating, so it is helpful if you start small and build up. Start by accomplishing any small goals you might have and work up to the larger ones. Checking these goals off on a to-do list can help you feel more empowered and can give you a visual of the progress that you are making. While completing your goals, focus on the things that can go right instead of the things that can go wrong. Above all, it is important to be ok with failing. Failing can lead to personal growth, help teach you what you can do differently in the future, and is a necessary step in the process of becoming more confident. Remember, confidence is a mind set, and if you are mean to yourself and dwell on it when you fail, it will be harder to become your most confident self.

Another part of becoming more confident depends on your body language. We have all heard of the phrase, ‘fake it till you make it,’ and in this case it actually is true. By adjusting your body posture, making eye contact, standing straight, walking briskly, and breathing calmly you will find that you feel more confident when you make your body language say to other people, “I am confident!” Working out and being physically active can also release chemicals in your brain that will make you happier and more confident in yourself.

Becoming confident can make you step out of your comfort zone, but when you start to feel anxious or fearful try to replace these negative thoughts with positive ones. It can be helpful to remember and channel some of your past successes. While they may seem similar, confidence is not the same thing as arrogance. While arrogance needs external validation from others in order to feel fulfilled, confidence only needs your own validation. Be honest with yourself about what you like and don’t like, and stand up for yourself. It isn’t selfish or arrogant to recognize what makes you happy and to do it as long as you aren’t bringing others down. This is your life, so stop worrying about what other people might think about your goals and what you like, and start thinking about how you feel about them.

– Haidyn Emmerich
Nourish Your Mind Blog Contributor
Neuroscience & Psychology Student – Syracuse University
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